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Voice Dialogue
  • How would you like a continually loving and fulfilling relationship?
  • Would it be of interest to you to understand why relationships frequently head in a downward spiral and be able to do something to stop it?
  • Would knowing how the structure of your personality influences every area of your life including your finances, career, self-esteem and self-confidence?
Voice Dialogue is a powerful transformational technique developed by American psychologists Drs Hal and Sidra Stone. Their approach to consciousness and transformation includes an in-depth study of the many “selves/sub-personalities”; they also work with dreams, body energy fields and archetypal bonding patterns.

Voice Dialogue, and the Psychology of Selves is an amazing system used for creating and improving relationships, developing your own personal growth and the insights gained with delight you. This system assists you to expand your self-awareness, create balance and harmony within yourself and your life.

Our personalities are made up of many different sub-personalities (referred to as ‘selves’). These ‘selves’ are real with real needs, perceptions and opinions. To achieve this understanding there needs to be room for another aspect of consciousness called the “Aware Ego”. This is where our usual ‘ego’ becomes aware of itself, the “selves” (i.e. aspects of your personality that are part of the ego), then choose which aspects are expressed rather than having the various ‘selves’ choose for you, (being at their beck and call so to speak). This process and experience is immensely empowering.

Some of the benefits that result include richer, more productive and cohesive, loving relationships, increase self-acceptance and self-worth, the ability to access more of your own resources, thereby, accessing talents and abilities within yourself and connecting more fully to your essential self.

Voice Dialogue is an experiential technique aimed to discover which aspects/sub-personality you have identified with and gain awareness of how they play out in your life. In being able to separate/unhook from these various “selves” gives you the opportunity to control their influence and allow the suppressed aspects expression.

The aim is for you to develop your awareness as part of your consciousness, not attached to the ‘selves’ but as a non-judgmental witness. Using this awareness then to embrace all of the ‘selves’ gives your ‘Aware Ego’ control and gives you the opportunity to increase the potential of your experiences in life.

Imagine that you may feel there’s a part of your personality that dominates your life. The facilitator could have a dialogue with that part you’ve identified with and discover how it operates, plays out and influences your life. Some examples would be your Rule Maker, Inner Critic/Judge, Perfectionist, Pleaser, Perfectionist, Rebel, Caring Self etc. When you have an understanding and are no longer completely identified with that aspect of your personality, you can then access the opposite self, which has probably been suppressed for a long time and desperate to be heard.

When you become consciously aware of what is going on in your own psyche then you can take responsibility for your feelings and their influence, now you have real choice - no longer being compelled to feel or act in a certain way.

At birth you are completely vulnerable, absolutely dependent on your parents/caregiver for survival, this aspect could be described as a “vulnerable child”.

The instinct to survive ensures you learn to act/react in a given way to get a particular response, this is spontaneous. However, before too long you’ve worked out what to do to achieve an end result, you create rules of behaviour for yourself that initially were in the best interests at that time. This is known as the first stage of personality development.

You have a ‘psychic fingerprint’ at birth, a unique way of identifying yourself in the world. Although we are all different, the way in which we create our rules is the same. That part of you that created your rules and decided how your personality would behave is referred to as the ‘Rule Maker’. The ‘Rule Maker’ is different to the aspect of the “vulnerable child” part of your personality; the nature is entirely different and different again to the instinctual part of your personality.

The Rule Maker – enables you to survive - observing your family and culture etc, creates rules to protect you in that environment, applauding and encouraging some behaviours while discouraging others. There are many other aspects of your personality that also develop and together they have a part to play in keeping you safe and protected, each has its own agenda. An example of how this could lay out would be: Rule Maker has worked out that when you smile your parents are pleased and display this pleasure in loving ways towards you. The Pleaser is created and together with the Rule Maker and come together to ensure your survival by pleasing your parents, whether that means being silent or doing whatever is required to ensure the desired effect.

As a child this works well, however, as an adult you may feel that you have no control over your behaviour. This survival process continues throughout childhood into adulthood and the rest of your life determining which personality characteristics are displayed and these forms the Primary Self System.

The suppressed or discarded behaviours become the ‘disowned selves’ and some of these could be ‘Aggressive Self’, ‘Selfish Self’’, Rebel etc. By age three almost every emotion known to mankind has been experienced and behaviours developed, you may have chosen to use only some of your characteristics dividing them into ‘good’ or bad’ as basic survival techniques.

Through the Voice Dialogue process we are able to talk directly with the various aspects and discover their complete personalities along with feelings, needs and opinions. The selves you access will affect your relationships, how you experience your life, communicate and express yourself and your spiritual experiences.

There are many selves within us, although we usually only identify with a few. There are responsible/irresponsible selves, child/adult selves, instinctual/spiritual selves, creative/rational selves.

Firstly, it is important that you separate from your ‘primary selves’. Your ‘primary selves’ have been your operating ego determining everything about you – who you think you are in the world, your likes/dislikes, preferences and avoidances etc.

This is a truly wonderfully, empowering and satisfying process discovering how one ‘ticks’.

 
 

 

 
 

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